Poems

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Unempolyment Problems


by Robyn Burtenshaw


You are facing it
Always thinking about it
Making it
No more steak
Just bread now
And forsaking it
Wish I could break it
I want to work
As any other
Time is on the upper
Hopefully not in the gutter
I will get another
Satisfaction is there
And I might be waiting
Till time there after


THE RADIO

by Warwick Naylor

Artificially zombified insect
Men making music
Created by electricity
Clicking and buzzing
Where's the bloody on/off switch
Song ends. What sneaky bastards
Next
Electrified kitchen demolition team
Mocking the creator. Swooning
Drunks having a ball. Notes bounce
Back and forth like echoes
Flying through space.
How
Lao Tzu sends his messengers
Mumbling men make thier move
Through the wall. He who is at one with the Tao falls asleep
xtremely quickly
He who is not must lie awake angrily.


A helpful example of a Job Application!!!

This kid will go far!!!

Name: Greg Bulmesh
Sex: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person
Desired position: Company President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky I wouldn't be applying here.
Desired Salary: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If thats not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.
Education: Yes
Last position held: Target for middle management hostility
Salary: Less than what I'm worth
Most noticeable achievement: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post it notes
Reason for leaving: It sucked
Available to work: Of course! That's why I'm applying
Preferred hours: 1:30 - 3:30pm, Monday, Tuesday and Thursday
Do you have any special skills? Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment
May we contact your current employer? If I had one, would I be here?
Do you have any physical condition that would prohibit you from lifting up to 50LBS? Of What?
Do you have a car? I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"    
Have you received any special awards or recognition? I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes
Do you smoke? On the job NO: On my breaks YES!
What would you like to be doing in five years? Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy, sexy super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.
Do you certify that the above is true and complete to the best of your knowledge? Yes, Absolutely

Sign Here:       Aries